(no subject)

[greghousesgf]

This is a list of complete and utter bullshit from TV ads in one day alone (yesterday)

Only married people own washing machines.
Only people who live with their families own refrigerators, in fact, single adults with no kids may not exist. Almost all products are only used by families.
All overweight people hate themselves.
All overweight women must wear black, all the time. wearing brightly colored clothing is apparently illegal.
Even skinny people have to be on diets all the time, and obsess about being fat. this is considered normal healthy behavior.
All skinny people are gorgeous.
"We may be able to help" is an ironclad guarantee. In fact the word "may"="will'.
All women own at least one black minidress.
All prescription drugs have long lists of scary sounding side effects but you should take them anyway.
Kids stealing is cute. Kids stealing food from more vulnerable kids is especially cute.
When kids want something they pretend not to want it.
Kids hate icing.
Everybody loves every kind of fruit that exists.
my personal favorite wasn't on yesterday but apparently all the planets in the solar system are on the exact same orbit.

Comments

[damigella-314.livejournal.com]

Everybody loves every kind of fruit that exists.
I must admit I'm close to that :). Guilty as charged, your honor.

All overweight women must wear black, all the time. wearing brightly colored clothing is apparently illegal.
Let's add that here the definition of overweight includes normal and mildly underweight.

Even skinny people have to be on diets all the time, and obsess about being fat.
If I get someone else complimenting me on losing 12 fucking pounds to mental illness I'll want you in the jury at the murder trial.

All skinny people are gorgeous.
LMAO.

single adults with no kids may not exist.
So sad, so true. In fact, in Italy the majority of households involve only one adult, and many of these have no kids either.

All women own at least one black minidress.
That was already the case when I was eighteen. In Italian there's even a special name, and it usually appears in female magazines with pictures of Audrey Hepburn (a standard size woman in their mind) in Roman Holidays.

All overweight people hate themselves.
If not, it's not because the society they live in didn't try hard enough. It's all their own damn fault :-).

Kids stealing food from more vulnerable kids is especially cute.
So happy I skipped that.

Kids hate icing.
Like with fruit. Some do, some don't.

Only married people own washing machines.
Only people whose kids are still shitting themselves/vomiting in the night/etc on a regular basis curse really loud when their washing machines breaks :).

Sad. And the planets all on an orbit? It's something that the Bible belt doesn't want to force schools to teach the geocentric system. [You know that the only Western country with the same disinformation level as the US about evolution is Turkey, don't you?]

[fierynotes.livejournal.com]

"Sad. And the planets all on an orbit? It's something that the Bible belt doesn't want to force schools to teach the geocentric system."

Relative to the sun, planetary movement can be described mathematically in three short lines. If some idiots thinks they can mathematically describe planetary movement relative to the Earth half as well, I'll consider letting them teach geocentrism.

[damigella-314.livejournal.com]

Look, I'm with you. Just be aware that the whole of Europe (except for Turkey) laughs their heads off at the crap that's taught in some US schools. [Turkey is by definition part of Europe because they play in the Champions League. Soccer rules.]

And yes, I love Kepler's laws, or even Newton's which implies them. Even general relativity is very simple in spirit as compared to the epicycles.

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

Nothing wrong with liking fruit, it is better for you after all, it's just a silly assumption on the part of some commercial person that everyone likes all fruit. However, boy are you going to love Calif in August! Blackberries, figs, pears, grapes and apples! and if House were a fruit he'd be a grapefruit. Big, sour, and acidic but he's going to make you healthy.
a lot of households in the US involve no kids at all but you wouldn't know it from our stupid TV.
I've never owned a black minidress in my life. I don't wear dresses very often and I haven't worn a short dress or skirt since I was 12. very few women have ever been anywhere near as skinny as Audrey was.
I'm overweight and I like myself. the bigots fail. :)
for some reason a lot of food ads try to make theft look cute. I don't get that at all.
Most American kids would eat icing without cake if their parents let them.
LOL at your washing machine coments.
the planets all on one orbit thing was used in a sausage commercial. I bet every science geek in the US screamed their head off at that one when they first saw it. I had heard that about Turkey from the movie Religulous. i admittedly don't know anything about Turkish culture.

[damigella-314.livejournal.com]

Blackberries, figs, pears, grapes and apples!
You mean blackberries and figs are affordable? Swoon. I think eating anything because it's healthy even in you don't like it is a perversion. Except maybe Vicodin :-).

I like the idea of comparing House to a grapefruit (which is my least favorite citrus - I love LOVE lemons) but is a wonderful comparison: it's even bitter at times, and at times sweet. Perfect. Wonder what fruit would Wilson be? First thought is of course chestnut, tasty and full of nutritional value but hard to get at. Plus, same color.

Most American kids would eat icing without cake if their parents let them.
LOL. My kids are more or less free to eat whatever they want, except I should buy them more blueberries/raspberries/etc - I don't because they're revoltingly expensive.

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

hell, you go out to some woods and blackberries are free! they grow all over! figs are not pricey here (and they're one of the fruits I do like, along with apples and pears).
I love lemon too, both in desserts and in savory stuff like chicken piccata.
I think the main reason I have so many food issues is because my parents put all kinds of crazy restraints on my eating habits.

[damigella-314.livejournal.com]

In my family food was always an issue, but only in that I wasn't eating enough. I was never forbidden to eat anything (I wasn't allowed to have coffee and chewing-gum until 13, it wasn't really a big loss).

I actually eat lemon as others eat oranges LOL (told you I'm a perv).

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

I think that just makes you interesting not a perv. there's an awesome seafood place in SF that serves unsweetened lemonade so you just add as much or as little sugar as you want, like coffee or tea.

[damigella-314.livejournal.com]

Seafood + unsweetened lemonade = heaven
[assuming lemonade means water and freshly squeezed lemon juice]

Were you already non-skinny as a child? Because I discovered comparatively recently that there are parents that start telling their kids they're fat and putting them on a diet before their age hits the double digits. I found it totally scary.

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

we should go. it's called Woodhouse (not Wodehouse!) Seafood and it's right near the Mint, the karaoke bar that karaokegal and I hang out at all the time.
I actually was skinny as a kid, I did not start gaining a lot of weight till I was in my mid 20s. When my niece was younger she was way too into these cartoon chicks who look like they have 2 inch waists and she used to make really obnoxious comments right in front of me but she's gotten a lot better.

[damigella-314.livejournal.com]

It's very mature of you to be forgiving towards your niece, but I really think she deserves some empathy because of the crazy propaganda she's been subjected to.
The younger generation is growing up surrounded by doctored photos of photoshoppally thinned self-starving women presented as the feminine ideal. As the mother of a normally-proportioned, healthy girl I live in terror that one day she'll develop an eating disorder.

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

this is true. if I had a kid I'd be worried about that too, it's a fucked up situation.
I'm very interested in us going to Woodhouse while you're here. that sound good to you?

[damigella-314.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a wonderful idea. Brilliant.

[hazeltea.livejournal.com]

This is exactly why I mute commercials! (actually, I usually just watch Netflix, or Hulu)

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

netflix, etc. is awesome. i also have a good sized DVD library but when roomie is up he doesn't go off the computer so I sometimes have to watch regular TV.

[hazeltea.livejournal.com]

I hardly ever watch regular tv anymore. Most of the programming is either designed to kill your brain cells, or designed to entertain people who are already lobotomized. I also hate how programmers are so lazy- every station will put a six hour block of the same show on in a row.

[fierynotes.livejournal.com]

"All prescription drugs have long lists of scary sounding side effects but you should take them anyway."

Do you suffer from migraines? Migron™ can help. Warning: possible side effects include bloody nose, bloody tear ducts, bloody stool, heart attack, stroke, outbursts of Tourette's syndrome, necrotizing fasciitis, lycanthropy, spontaneous combustion, and migraines. Do not take Migron™ if you are pregnant or may become pregnant, or if you suffer from allergy to shellfish or pollen, angina, rosacea, dandruff, or migraines.

Migron™. For relief from migraines.


"Everybody loves every kind of fruit that exists."

I tried dragonfruit, once. It had such an exciting name, and I was sure it would taste awesome... but it tasted insipid instead. I was disappointed. And as eager as I am to try durian one day, most people would be put off by the smell. (Durians apparently taste wonderful -- they're known in their native lands as the King of Fruits. They're also known for their smell. They've been described as eating a very fine custard while standing up to your knees in shit.)


"Only people who live with their families own refrigerators, in fact, single adults with no kids may not exist. Almost all products are only used by families."

Oddly, you never see kids in advertisements for Viagra and other such drugs. Apparently, parents never have sex.

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

LOL at migron.
I can't stand most fruit. there are a very few kinds I really like.
maybe the implication in the Viagra ads is no having sex after they have kids??

[damigella-314.livejournal.com]

maybe the implication in the Viagra ads is no having sex after they have kids??

TMI was narrowly avoided. LOL.
Unfortunately, I'd say the implication is that you don't have sex with the mother of your kids.

[srsly-yes.livejournal.com]

lol. Very amusing.

Usually I bypass most tv ads by watching via my DVR, but I confess to a fondness for med commercials where the warnings takes more time to list than the benefits. :-)

eta: Sorry, messed up on where to post my comment. :(

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

i still have a lot of old tapes of shows i taped off the TV in my video library and I get a great satisfaction out of fast forwarding through the commercials.

[gmdreia.livejournal.com]

Ads are aimed at target demographics based upon market research; it's who they think will buy their crap.

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

I know. it's still stupid.

[topaz-eyes.livejournal.com]

All prescription drugs have long lists of scary sounding side effects but you should take them anyway.

Ahahahaha so true. They never should have allowed pharma companies to advertise prescription drugs on TV. The Big List of Scary Side Effects ^TM is one thing in magazines, but really, really silly for a 30 second promo. (Also, what's more hilarious, is that they're required by law to list them.)

[legrotesque.livejournal.com]

Lmfao what the flog? What kind of commercials have YOU been watching lately?! XD

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

I think the people who write this crap are all on drugs.