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I'm starting to get real sick of hearing this. Every time somebody is in an abusive relationship, some well-meaning person ALWAYS tells them they'll "find somebody else". Well, I got out of an abusive relationship and I'm still single and that was OVER THIRTY YEARS AGO. Apparently there's something really wrong with me.

Current Music: S-Tone, Inc.

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From:

jacieleigh

IMHO, while they *might* find someone else (and I know a woman who had two abusive husbands, and as far as I know, the 3rd was a winner), I think they're just as likely to find another abusive guy.

I mean, it depends, though. There are people who fool you. They seem to be genuine and perfect until you're living together, then the other shoe drops... HARD. Others, the person knows. Somewhere deep down inside, they knew. They just tthought they won't find anyone else, or they can change the person and make them better. But I've also seen that most people have types. And I'm sorry to say, some people are attracted to this certain type of take charge, my way or the highway, personality, that might not always be abusive, but often is. Or some other personality type that isn't healthy to be around.

Not that I know anything about anything. I've dated several guys over the years, and as far as I know, they all got married at some point, and I'm still single. But I'm a very happy single person. As I told my mom, I couldn't see ANY relationship I've ever had lasting more than 3-5 years tops, and I would rather be happily SINGLE than miserable and married.

I've met guys I thought I could have a good relationship with, but they only liked me as a friend. And the guys who wanted to marry me, well, I knew I'd never be happy with them. I suppose I could have gotten married, but I didn't see the point of making myself miserable (and if I'm miserable, pretty good chance he would be, too!) and possibly bringing kids into an unhappy situation.

I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with anyone. Hell, people in JAIL somehow manage to find people willing to marry them through mail (email?). It's just a matter of what people are looking for, and what they're willing to put up with. It almost seems like life is a lottery, and meeting the right person is a matter of right place, right time, or settling for someone else because you think you won't find anyone better. I don't think I've ever met my *right* person. And really, I'm okay with that.

From:

warriorsavant

Nicely said. Also, some people just aren't meant for relationships. No one is perfect, not even the perfect stranger (okay, song lyric, sorry). You meet someone who is a reasonable fit, at that point in your life, or forever. Or you don't.